Ah, baseball season has begun - last Monday, in fact.
That said, is not too late for any baseball team to take me up on my offer. You see, my cheering on a particular team seems to have a damaging, even crippling effect on their performance.
So I will accept the highest bid to go cheer for your rival. Might as well get paid to watch my teams lose.
OK, OK. I might be kidding. But I'm watching you, Oakland. Blow it going into the playoffs again and I'm defecting to the Angels.
A new season has begun. May the best team win and your team lose. Play ball!
"A Dying Cubs Fan's Last Request" by Steve Goodman